Preparing For Baby

These are a few topics that are often discussed during the wait to bring baby home. Remember the Independent Adoption Center Adoption Forums are a great way to seek answers and support from other people who have been through, or are going through, the adoption journey just like you.

Should we prepare our nursery?
Decorating the nursery is such a personal thing. Some like to paint the nursery and get all the furniture in place. Often these people like to sit and dream and imagine the day that their baby will be in the nursery. The nursery can turn into a symbol of hope and belief that a baby will soon be part of your family. Likewise, it can become a symbol of pain and loss, and it could be too difficult to even think about a nursery until a baby is home in your arms. The decision to prepare your nursery is ultimately a personal decision that has to be right for you.

What to take to the hospital when baby is born?
This can really depend on whether you have an out of state match or not. But the general advice from IAC alumni is not to forget the following key things:

  • An infant car seat – baby can’t be discharged if you don’t have one.
  • A going home outfit for baby.
  • Phone chargers for both of your phones/PDAs.
  • Video camera and charger for batteries, extra DVDs or tapes.
  • List of phone numbers for family and IAC.
  • IDs and medical insurance details.
  • A book or something you like to do when you have to wait.
  • AAA maps of the area you are going to, or try to get a GPS in your (rental) car.
  • Baby care book.
  • Laptop computer if you have one.
  • Prescription medicines that you might take.

The hospital will provide you with a lot of baby care items and will usually provide enough diapers and formula to get you by. Remember that there is always a local store nearby to get anything that you have forgotten, or to get bulky items like diapers and bottles that you may not want to travel with.

Baby is home but I don’t feel happy and excited. I am worried that we aren’t bonding with our baby.
First, this is a very common reaction, so you are not alone. You’re tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed. Many new parents feel this way. When you have been working so hard to reach any goal for a very long time and you achieve that goal after a while, it is normal for a sense of loss or emptiness to set in.

Here are some resources that may help you:
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/bonding – Here you'll find strategies for enhancing attachment in the weeks and months after your baby comes home. There is also great advice on how to recognize and cope with post adoption depression.

Loving and bonding with your adopted baby
Contrary to the common myths about bonding, the process does not always happen instantaneously for either biological or adoptive parents. For many parents, their profound bond to their child develops over time through a variety of experiences. Whether the bonds are instant or gradual, the ties between adoptive parents and adopted children are as strong as any between biological child and biological parent.