Getting Off the Medical Treadmill
There I was, sitting out there in the waiting room with my husband after his third sperm washing. I suddenly had a flash. I respected and even liked my doctor, but maybe what he wanted and what we wanted were different.
The Two Sets of Parents Myth
Knowing both their adoptive parents and their birthparents does not confuse children in open adoption. They understand their birthparents represent their biological origins and their adoptive parents are simply mom and dad.
The Shared Parenting Myth
Legally, there is only one formal set of parents—the adoptive parents—with the right to make decisions for their child. The birthparents have chosen a particular family precisely because they wanted this person or this couple to be their child's parents.
Loving and Bonding with Your Adopted Baby
Contrary to the common myths about bonding, the process does not always happen instantaneously for either biological or adoptive parents. For many parents, their profound bond to their child develops over time through a variety of experiences.
Relationships in Open Adoption
Open adoption can seem frightening, but quite contrary to expectations; almost everyone finds the relationships surprisingly easy. In effect, what is happening is that the adoptive parents are adding new relatives to their family—a baby and the child's birthparents.
Counselors, Lawyers, and Doctors
A successful open adoption takes considerable work and care, determination, and the commitment to see the process through to the end. And something else is needed: the best and the most comprehensive counseling support available.
The Importance of Ongoing Contact
The most profound reassurance to a child about their adoption is probably the actual presence of the birthparents in their lives.
The Importance of Heritage to the Adopted Child
As it should be, the greatest benefactor of an open adoption is the child. In the past, a child's adoption was, at best, a source of confusion and doubt. At worst, it was a source of shame.
Knowing Why Their Birth Family Chose to Have Them Adopted
Often the deepest concern of adopted children is why their birthparents chose to have them adopted.
Open Adoption Does Not Solve Every Problem
Does this mean that open adoption solves all the problems of an adopted child? Of course not. Open adoption does mean bringing the child's birthparents into the adoptive family as relatives.
The Adopted Child: Peers and Society
What about the adopted child's treatment by their friends, relatives, and society in general?