Birthmother’s Day is a celebration of the special role of birthmothers and the loving and unselfish decision they made on behalf of their children. Mother’s Day is painful for many birthmothers because it is a reminder of the loss they experienced in adoption. She is a birthmother but not a mom—the adoptive mother is the mom.
As a result, most birthmothers don’t feel entitled to celebrate on Mother’s Day. Typically, they feel sad on this day when everyone is celebrating the joy of motherhood. The birthmother’s role in the child’s life is not generally acknowledged by society. Friends and family do not recognize birthmothers on Mother’s Day. People don’t send them Mother’s Day cards.
Birthmother’s Day was designated in 1990 by a group of birthmothers to acknowledge the role of birthmothers. For more information visit the BirthMomBuds website.
This day of celebration (the day before Mother’s Day) was set to help support birthmothers in acknowledging the choice they made for their child and the special role they play in their child’s life. The goal is to help birthmothers feel positive about themselves and also provide support to each other.
Some groups have special celebrations on Birthmother’s Day. For example, candle lighting, reading poems, music, etc., all honoring the role of birthmothers.
Many adoptive parents honor their children’s birthmothers on this day, too—sending flowers or a card with recent photos of their child. There are special Birthmother’s Day cards available through the BirthMomBuds website or families can create their own. If the child is old enough to participate in honoring his/her birthmother, he/she can sign the card or include a drawing or letter to go along with the card.