Comments on: Helping Your Extended Family Understand Open Adoption http://www.adoptionhelp.org/blog/2010/helping-your-extended-family-understand-open-adoption/ Thu, 09 May 2013 18:00:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Adoption agency family international http://www.adoptionhelp.org/blog/2010/helping-your-extended-family-understand-open-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-153 Adoption agency family international Wed, 19 Jan 2011 09:28:08 +0000 http://adoptionhelp.org/blog/?p=131#comment-153 [...] Helping Your Extended Family Understand Open Adoption Jun 10, 2010. As family members learn more about open adoption,. the assistance of an adoption agency or professional. Open adoption DOES work.. - Helping Your Extended Family Understand Open Adoption [...] [...] Helping Your Extended Family Understand Open Adoption Jun 10, 2010. As family members learn more about open adoption,. the assistance of an adoption agency or professional. Open adoption DOES work.. – Helping Your Extended Family Understand Open Adoption [...]

]]> By: Ksilber http://www.adoptionhelp.org/blog/2010/helping-your-extended-family-understand-open-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-71 Ksilber Wed, 21 Jul 2010 01:47:51 +0000 http://adoptionhelp.org/blog/?p=131#comment-71 To Marge Brown,<br><br>I am so sorry about your family's disappointment. I'm sure this is devastating to all of you. <br><br>This is a risk in all adoptions--that the birthparents might change their minds before they sign the legal relinquishment documents (and they have the right to do so). In fact, this change of mind is more likely to happen in closed adoption, where the adopting parents are unknown to the birthmother. <br><br>Changes of mind are rare in open adoption. In open adoption the birthparents have a peace of mind because they have selected the adopting parents and because they know they will have access to ongoing contact and/or information over the years. Even so, placing a baby for adoption is a very difficult decision one that involves a lot of pain and grief. It's important for the birthmother to receive professional counseling (while she is pregnant and afterward) to help prepare her for these emotions--and so she will be able to handle the normal feelings of grief in the hospital and after discharge. <br><br>I hope your son and daughter in law will be able to move forward and try again--with the assistance of an adoption agency or professional. Open adoption DOES work. <br><br>Best regards,<br>Kathleen Silber To Marge Brown,

I am so sorry about your family's disappointment. I'm sure this is devastating to all of you.

This is a risk in all adoptions–that the birthparents might change their minds before they sign the legal relinquishment documents (and they have the right to do so). In fact, this change of mind is more likely to happen in closed adoption, where the adopting parents are unknown to the birthmother.

Changes of mind are rare in open adoption. In open adoption the birthparents have a peace of mind because they have selected the adopting parents and because they know they will have access to ongoing contact and/or information over the years. Even so, placing a baby for adoption is a very difficult decision one that involves a lot of pain and grief. It's important for the birthmother to receive professional counseling (while she is pregnant and afterward) to help prepare her for these emotions–and so she will be able to handle the normal feelings of grief in the hospital and after discharge.

I hope your son and daughter in law will be able to move forward and try again–with the assistance of an adoption agency or professional. Open adoption DOES work.

Best regards,
Kathleen Silber

]]> By: Marge Brown http://www.adoptionhelp.org/blog/2010/helping-your-extended-family-understand-open-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-70 Marge Brown Sun, 18 Jul 2010 05:23:44 +0000 http://adoptionhelp.org/blog/?p=131#comment-70 Our son and his wife have just heard the devastating news that the birthmother has decided to keep her baby. I can't tell you how heartbreaking this is for the extended family. We are all shocked and dismayed that she changed her mind on the second day, even though my son and wife were allowed to bond with the baby - feeding him, changing diapers, etc. They were so happy and joyous, as were we all. Now, we are all in the pits, because this baby was not only theirs, but ours. This is a real tradegy, and has convinced us that open adoption is not the way to go, even though ous son and his wife chose this way. Our son and his wife have just heard the devastating news that the birthmother has decided to keep her baby. I can't tell you how heartbreaking this is for the extended family. We are all shocked and dismayed that she changed her mind on the second day, even though my son and wife were allowed to bond with the baby – feeding him, changing diapers, etc. They were so happy and joyous, as were we all. Now, we are all in the pits, because this baby was not only theirs, but ours. This is a real tradegy, and has convinced us that open adoption is not the way to go, even though ous son and his wife chose this way.

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