My husband and I are currently in the waiting stage of our adoption. Oddly enough, it was fishing that helped me put the adoption wait into perspective. Here is my insight…
A positive outcome comes from preparation. In fishing, preparing involves making decisions. First you have to decide what to fish for. Then you must ensure that you have the right gear, the best pole, and the correct weight of line. Just like fishing, adopting a baby involves decisions. You have to decide what type of adoption is right for you. Hours are spent googling adoption, gathering facts, reading articles and forums, slowly making your decision based on what is best for your family. Attending the IAC’s Adoption Information Session is often the final step of the decision-making process. In choosing open adoption and the IAC, hope is born.
Setting Up Your Equipment
When you arrive at the fishing hole, you must set up your equipment. If you’ve been fishing before you well know that this flurry of activity can take some time. First you have to set up your pole: Tie a fishing knot, attach the rigging, determine how much weight you’ll need to attach to your line, and choose the right size hook. The first phase of your adoption is strangely similar. Like setting up your fishing line, there are steps that must take place before you begin: Pass the Home Study, write your Dear Birthmother Letter, take a perfect profile photo, and arrange an online adoption profile. As in fishing, these steps require great care and cannot be rushed.
Completing the set-up process is an exciting feeling. In fishing, it is the feeling of your fishing line singing through the air in a perfect arc on your initial cast; in adoption it is the sudden, sharp thrill you feel when you receive the email telling you your file is approved and that your profile will now be visible to potential birthmothers.
When fishing, hours might pass without a bite. In adoption, weeks and months might pass without an email, a call, a visit. But you have to be patient knowing that what you long for is out there and that it will come in it’s own sweet time. Just as in fishing, there might even be some false starts or disappointments. The trick is to stay the course, enjoy the process and embrace the wait. Because…
It finally happens. You catch a fish, you bring your baby home. You realize that at every moment, you were right where you were supposed to be.
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