Opening Our Hearts to Open Adoption

I truly believe that one of the biggest reasons I am on this Earth is to be a mom. As the oldest of five children, I grew up nurturing and protecting my younger siblings. Now, as a kindergarten teacher, my days are filled with hugs and Band-Aids.

It wasn’t long after Scott and I met, that we realized we wanted to become parents together. We started making baby name lists before we were even engaged!

Shortly after we were married, we decided to embark on our greatest journey yet; raising a family. We both believed in adoption as a great way to start a family, but as a young couple in our early twenties, we wanted to try and conceive and experience a pregnancy of our own. We couldn’t wait to meet our little bundle of joy!

Fast forward eight years, two pregnancy losses, and countless visits with the doctor, we found ourselves at a crossroads. We had the option to continue exploring the causes of our infertility and losses, or we could opt for in vitro. These avenues were expensive and neither could guarantee that we would become parents. With the possibility of more disappointment, heartache, and loss, we decided not to pursue any of those options.

That’s when we revisited the idea of adoption. We discussed adoption with our families and with each other, and realized that adoption was 100%. It was not a guessing game. It was more about having patience, unconditional love, and an overwhelming desire to be a mom and dad. The decision to adopt put us back on the road to parenthood.

We started researching different types of adoption and adoption agencies to see which one felt right. We knew we wanted to be a part of our child’s life from the very beginning so we turned to domestic infant adoption. Next, we attended an orientation at the Independent Adoption Center where we were introduced to open adoption. Openness was a foreign concept to us before that Saturday morning at the IAC office. It was actually a very scary thought at the beginning! Won’t our children be confused about who their parents are? What if our children like them better than they like us?

After the orientation, we researched open adoption on our own and soon began to realize the benefits. We also learned that our fears were common, but far from the truth. After all, what’s so scary about a child having two families worth of love? As hopeful parents, we want our children to be able to have all their questions answered, and to know their birth families. Not only have our fears washed away, we now embrace the opportunity of a life-long relationship with our children’s birth families.

Was adoption the choice we turned to first? No, it wasn’t. By being our second choice, is adoption second best? Absolutely not! We will love and cherish our children with all our hearts no matter how they come to our family. Our children will be just that – ours.  

Andrea and her husband Scott reside in Winder, GA and are currently waiting to become first-time parents through open adoption. To learn more about them visit their I Heart Adoption profile.

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  • http://www.adoptionhelp.org Michelle Keyes

    What a great story, thanks for sharing!

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  • http://www.adoptionhelp.org/ Independent Adoption Center

    Please note that the Independent Adoption Center is closing for the holidays on the afternoon of December 22nd 2011 and will reopen on January 3rd 2012.
    I will return your message when I return in the new year.

    Wishing you a festive holiday season!

    Erin Grimm
    Creative Director of Marketing
    Independent Adoption Center
    adoptionhelp.org

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