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Letter from the Editor: In celebration of the new year, this issue of Open Adoption offers stories of both reflection and hope. On page one, you will find a collage of IAC’s newest families, followed by exciting announcements on page two, including the Holiday Card Contest Winner. We also reveal the look of our new and improved website set to take affect in late January. For a closer look, visit adoptionhelp.org.

On page three an adoptive mother reflects on the first six months of parenthood. What begins as an unsettling hospital experience, evolves into an inspirational story of lasting bonds and life lessons.

Our feature article, on page five, is an informal discussion between an adoptive mother and father on transracial adoption. They speak from personal experience rather than expertise, and the honesty and sensitivity of their conversation is refreshing.

On page eight, we feature a class assignment by six-year-old Sophia, who wrote a beautiful depiction of her family. On page nine, get to know Ashley Garrison, the Open Adoption Counselor in Atlanta, Georgia.

On page ten, hear from resident expert Kathleen Silber as she explains how to address adoption at different ages. As always, the final pages contain up-to-date birthparent statistics and upcoming support group dates. Enjoy!

– Ann Wrixon, MSW, MBA, Executive Director

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Letter From the Editor: The articles in this issue of Open Adoption are warm and inspiring, helping us welcome another holiday season. We celebrate IAC’s newest families on page one and announce holiday party dates and new staff on page two. The holiday season at IAC also includes our annual holiday break and Adoption Awareness Month and that is detailed on page two and 16 respectively.

On page three an adoptive mother writes a letter to her son, Jared, recounting the events that formed their family. On page four, we introduce Gia, and the series of events that brought her adoptive mothers and her birthmother together. Both stories reveal tiny details that lead to miraculous outcomes, and how fate plays a role in open adoption.

Our feature article is a birth story told from three perspectives. It’s not often that all sides of a story are told, but on page seven, the birth of Chloe Star is recounted by her adoptive mother, her birthmother, and her birthfather. Respect, admiration, and friendship are common themes in all three stories, proving the strength of their open relationship and the immense amount of love that brought Chloe into the world.

In our Staff Profile, you will meet Lauren Favorite, our Adoptive Parent Intake Coordinator in Atlanta, Georgia. Aside from welcoming perspective adoptive parents to the IAC, she has quite a few interesting hobbies. Learn about these hobbies and more on page 13.

On page 14, hear from resident expert Kathleen Silber as she addresses a unique situation your child may encounter in school. As always, the final pages contain up-to-date birthparent statistics and upcoming support group dates. Happy Holidays!

~ Ann Wrixon, MSW, MBA, Executive Director

IAC has also recently published detailed wait time statistics for 2006 through May 2011. This is discussed on page two. On page 10, we reveal a selection of comments pulled from our Facebook page that answer the question: “What is the significance of your child’s name? And/Or how did you decide upon a name for your child?” The answers from both adoptive parents and birthparents are touching and inspiring.

On page three, get to know Lyn Dawn, Manager of Agency Services. Learn about her love of animals, her feelings about family and what it’s like to be the IAC Halloween Decorating Champion 10 years in a row.

Turn to page four to read an endearing story of how Erin Garcia-Norris and her wife bonded with their son’s birthmother without being able to speak her native language. On page six is our feature article, by Jamie Clark, who has two daughters, both adopted through the IAC. She tells of her search to find her older daughter’s birthmother and how Facebook and other social media play an important role in their ongoing relationship.

On page nine, hear from resident expert Kathleen Silber as she offers great insight into how to teach your adopted child the significance of birth siblings. As always, the final pages contain up-to-date birthparent statistics and upcoming support group dates. DOWNLOAD & enjoy!

~ Ann Wrixon, Executive Director ~

In 2010 IAC earned HRC’s “All Children – All Families” seal for best practices in LGBT adoption. HRC is the nation’s largest civil rights organization working for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equity. See the ad displayed here:

Lynn is a mother to five sons. After her second marriage, Lynn was unable to have more biological children. A surrogate carried her youngest twin sons, but she and her husband went through the adoption process. This is required when either the sperm or the egg donor is unknown.

Not only does Lynn have experience as an adoptive mother, but she also works locally in Alabama supporting young women who have an unplanned pregnancy. She suggests they look at IAC’s web site and other resources where they receive non-directive counseling about their options.

Please take two minutes to view Lynn talking about her commitment to adoption and the IAC. There are also beautiful photos of Lynn and her family, including the surrogate mother who gave birth to her youngest sons.

You can also find out much more about Lynn and her work as Mrs. Alabama International 2011 by visiting her web site.

• The average wait time from when a prospective adoptive family completes all of their pre-adoption paperwork and a child is placed in their home is 14 months.
• The median wait time is 11 months. (Half of families have a wait time less than 11 months, half wait more than 11 months)
• 70% of adoptive families have a placement within 18 months, 90% have a placement within 28 months.

See: http://www.adoptionhelp.org/adoption_statistics/

Furthermore, we provide details of the wait time for every family who adopted through the IAC over the last four and a half years. In addition, we provide a breakdown of wait times for Gay male families, Lesbian families, single parent families, and families with children.

See: http://www.adoptionhelp.org/adoption_statistics/graphs.html

Gay male families, Lesbian families and families with children wait an average of 14 months for an adoptive placement, which is the same as the wait time for all IAC families. Single parent families have an average wait of 15 months, but this statistic is based on just 21 single parent placements so may not be as representative as we would like.

More than 50% of families have a placement within 12 months. 70% have a placement within 18 months and 90% of families have a placement by 28 months.

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Bo and Tom built their family through both international and domestic adoption. They talk about both adoptions in the article. Their older son is from Guatemala, and their younger son was born in Texas. They highlight the open relationship they have with their youngest son’s birth mother.

In addition, they talk about their relationship, their work, and why marriage equality is so important to their family. Bo and Tom are both cheerleading coaches for Radford High School, and they explain how their jobs have prepared them for parenting by teaching them how to connect to young people. This is clearly a strong point for this couple as the Radford Cheerleaders just won their sixth consecutive state championship.

The article has beautiful photos of Bo and Tom and their sons. In addition, there is a photo gallery of additional photos taken during the photo shoot with the family.

According to the Family Equality Council, “One in four children in this country is being raised by a single parent. Two million children are being raised in LGBT households. We all recognize there is no single type of family in America anymore. We must not allow anyone to place politics ahead of the best interests of children and exclude millions of potential parents because of who they are or whom they love.” (See: http://www.familyequality.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ECDF)

There is significant research that shows children raised in LGBT families have the same or better outcomes than children raised by heterosexual parents. As a result, large numbers of organizations have policy statements that support LGBT adoption and foster care including, The American Academy of Family Physicians, The American Academy of Pediatrics, The American Psychiatric Association, the National Association of Social Workers, and many others. For a complete list of these organizations and ones that support the Every Child Deserves a Family Bill see the list on the web site of PFLAG: http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=1411

The Independent Adoption Center is one of the child welfare agencies listed on this page supporting the bill. IAC has never had any discriminatory policies regarding adoptive parents including, sexual orientation, gender identity, marital status, religion, race, or ethnic background.