Syracuse Law Professor Kevin Maillard

The New York Times headlined the topic as “Adoptive Parents v. Tribal Rights“, but Syracuse University Law Professor and member of the Seminole Nation of Oklahoma, Kevin Noble Maillard reframed the question and proposed a solution he calls “splitting the baby” but is also known as open adoption.

Significantly, the last time the U.S. Supreme Court issued a ruling on ICWA was in 1989 in Band of Choctow Indians v. Holyfield, when the Court ruled that the Mississippi Band of Choctaw Indians had jurisdiction over a voluntary adoption made off the reservation by Indian parents to a non-Indian adoptive family. Ultimately, the tribal court decided to leave the children (twins) with the adoptive family, but mandated that they stay in touch with their tribe and birth families (essentially an open adoption).

As Mr. Maillard notes adoption cases need to focus on the best interests of the child. He states that it is not in the best interest of any child for a court to mandate their removal from a happy, stable home. Nevertheless, the child’s Indian heritage is important to both the child, the Indian tribe, and to the adoptive and birth parents.

In fact, one of the joys of open adoption is that there is no need to “split the baby.” The child knows their racial, ethnic, and cultural heritage and keeps ties to their birth family (at the Independent Adoption Center the most common open adoption agreement is one visit a year between birth and adoptive families with phone calls and email in between). The birth family knows their child is happy and well cared for. Finally, the adoptive family feels entitled to parent the child and can provide answers for their child’s questions about their cultural and ethnic background.

Most importantly, is this sort of “open” arrangement in the best interests of the child? According to significant longitudinal research, the answer is yes. The empirical evidence shows that open adoption has the best outcomes for adoptees. The research shows that adoptees in open adoptions report fewer externalizing behaviors, have better ratings of psychosocial adjustment, and believe that the contact had a positive impact, and helps with their identity formation. Furthermore, adoptees in open adoptions do not show any surprise, anger, or confusion about who their parents are.

ICWA is an important piece of legislation, but there are clearly cases where it is in the best interest of the child for non-Indian adoptive parents to raise the child. Open adoption bridges the gap between ICWA and the best interests of the child. The child would remain connected to their birth and tribal heritage, and this should be done though a legally enforceable contact agreement with the birthparents and/or the tribe. This is best for the child without sacrificing the intent of ICWA.

Ann Wrixon, MSW, MBA, is the Executive Director of the Independent Adoption Center, the largest and oldest fully open adoption agency in the United States.

The last time the U.S. Supreme Court issued a ruling on ICWA was in 1989 in Band of Choctow Indians v. Holyfield, when the Court ruled that the Mississippi Band of Choctaw Indians had jurisdiction over a voluntary adoption made off the reservation by Indian parents to a non-Indian adoptive family. Ultimately, the tribal court decided to leave the children (twins) with the adoptive family, but mandated that they stay in touch with their birth families (essentially an open adoption).

Congress passed ICWA in 1978 to stop the involuntary removal of Indian children from Indian families. Nevertheless, ICWA includes provisions for voluntary adoptions recognizing that given the unique tribal cultural heritage of Indian nations, the best interests of the child, extended family, and tribe may be contrary to the interests of the Indian parents who are making a voluntary adoption plan. As a result, the tribe may intervene in adoptions that involve Indian children even if the birthparents oppose the intervention.

It is not clear from the news stories about this case if the adoption agency handling the case ever notified the Cherokee tribe of the adoption. This is a requirement of ICWA even if the birthfather had terminated his parental rights. Once the tribe learned of the adoption, they intervened in the adoption stating that ICWA gave them jurisdiction in the adoption, and the South Carolina court agreed.

The adoptive parents in this case asked the U.S. Supreme court to rule on whether ICWA applies when a custodial non-Indian parent initiates a voluntary adoption, and the other parent has not established legal parental rights. The birthfather believes he established legal paternity, and that the birthmother tried to hide the Indian heritage of his daughter. There is no way to know what issues the U.S. Supreme Court will ultimately address. Lawyers for both sides will probably argue their cases before the court in April, with a decision expected in June.

The Independent Adoption Center supports ICWA, but only if it is in the best interest of the child. In Band of Choctow Indians v. Holyfield the tribal courts wisely decided to mandate an open adoption so that the children would maintain contact with their tribal cultural while remaining with the adoptive family, the only home they had ever known.

The report, researched and written by Jeanne A. Howard, does an excellent job of outlining best practices in adoption, particularly infant domestic adoption. In addition, the report documents the many unethical practices in adoption, including undue pressure on women with unplanned pregnancies to place for adoption. Dr. Howard reports that these practices have always been prevalent, but that the Internet allows these practices to flourish in ways that were not possible in earlier eras. In addition, it can be very difficult to sort out what is legitimate information about adoption when searching on the Internet.

Dr. Howard emphasizes that both pre-adoptive families and families dealing with an unplanned pregnancy who are considering adoption need to work with ethical adoption providers who can guide them through the process and its many legal and emotional complications. In particular, adoption agencies staffed by professional social workers or adoption attorneys who are part of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys are the type of professionals’ families need seek out.

The report spends a considerable amount of time discussing how social media and the Internet has both facilitated adoption reunions in closed adoptions, and allowed adopted children to find their birthparents without the knowledge of their adoptive parents. In addition, abusive birthparents sometimes have contacted their birth children even when the courts forbid such contact. Dr. Howard notes that the reality is all families need to be prepared for an open adoption. Families need to know how to talk to their children about this contact should the children or birthparents seek it out. In particular, the report notes that adoptive parents cannot expect that they can control their children’s activities online so they need to make this a topic of conversation within their family.

Dr. Howard spends several pages reviewing the literature on open adoption, and discusses how the research shows that open adoption is the healthiest option for most families. This is should be reassuring to most families because the report also makes it clear that the Internet has made open adoption inevitable for most families.

One Million Moms writes:  ““Hollywood is continuing to push an agenda that homosexuality is acceptable when scripture states clearly it is a sin.”

In a Religion and Politics Tracking Survey conducted by Public Religion Research Institute, they found that a slim majority (51%) of Americans are now in favor allowing gay and lesbian couples to legally marry, compared to 43% percent who are opposed. A majority of the nation is already in support of LGBT adoption. It is inaccurate to call this incremental shift in public opinion on LGBT adoption an “agenda.”  Rather, it is representative of an entire movement in a critical area of civil rights in the United States.

One Million Milion writes:  “While foster care and adoption is a wonderful thing… this program is attempting to redefine marriage and family by having two moms raise these children together.”

The implication is that children are better off in state run group homes than being adopted by loving and able foster families. This is a bizarre stance for a so-called family organization to take, as the available evidence shows children raised in LGBT homes do just as well as those raised with heterosexual parents. Studies have shown that children of lesbian parents have no more problems than other children, and actually may be more tolerant of differences, according to two large studies involving more than 100 couples at Tufts University School of Medicine in Boston (“Kids of The Same Sex Do Just Fine”. CBS News. Little, Linda. 2005. http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-500368_162-938234.html).

Andrew Rannells, the show’s star, told PrideSource, “The silly part is that no one has seen it, so what that boycott is based on is a two-line description of what they read this show was about and, just based on that alone, they’re upset. That’s disappointing because ultimately, what the show is about is how much love it takes to start a family — and not just our family.”

IAC has led the way and will continue to lead in support of Gay and Lesbian family adoption, as one of the few open adoption agencies that has no restrictions on racial/ethnic, age, religion, marital status, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression for prospective adoptive parents.

And finally, One Million Mom writes that, “ ‘The Fosters’ is about two women raising a “21st century,” multi-ethnic mix of foster and biological kids.”

The inclusion of their multi-ethnic background is puzzling. It is joined alongside a list of other topics that they deem “not acceptable…for a family show”, and acts to exclude the topic of transracial adoption in the national dialogue of adoption and foster care. There has never been more support for multi-ethnic adoption and foster-care. Notable examples in the media include Brad and Angelina’s Ethiopia-born Zahara, Vietnam-born Pax, and Cambodia-born Maddox.

The IAC is proud to provide a path for families in transracial adoptions, while recognizing the challenges and offering support and educational resources for these families. In the Spring 2010 issue of IAC’s “Open Adoption Newsletter”, we put the spotlight on transracial adoption and include a collection of stories and advice from IAC counselors on raising a child of a different race and/or ethnicity.

• Photo must be of your child in his or her Halloween costume (Please note: By submitting any photos, you give IAC permission to reproduce them online and in promotional materials.)
• To enter you must be a current or alumni IAC family
• All entries will be added to our Facebook photo album
• The winner will be the photo that gets the most Facebook “likes”
• The winning photo will be determined on November 2nd, at 12pm PST.
• Send all photo entries to contests@adoptionhelp.org

Good luck!

What is Adoptee Night, and how did the idea develop?
In community partnership between the Mixed Roots Foundation and the SF Giants, the first ever Adoptee Night is a special event that will take place in helping to raise more awareness about adoption. Since it’s our first year, we hope that we can drive as many people as possible to attend, so that next year the SF Giants can fully sponsor this event next year and hopefully years to come. Full sponsorship will include a reserved section for the adoption community, a pregame show, as well as an Adoptee Night sponsored promotional item.

But for this year, we are kind of doing everything separate – just to get the momentum for next year (smile).  We will be hosting a separate pregame gathering at Lucky Strike that is located right across from AT&T Park at 4:30 p.m. We will also be handing out Adoptee Night rally towels and T-Shirts, so Adoptee Night attendees can show their support for this one of a kind event. The Ultimate goal is to replicate Adoptee Night to other sports teams in the country.

The idea of Adoptee Night kind of came from the concept of the other SF Giants special events but to really recognize and celebrate all who have been touched by adoption. As an adoptee myself and attending all of the other SF Giants special events – I thought to myself why isn’t there one for the adoption community??? Six in ten people are touched by adoption – that equates to about over 100 million people here in the U.S. and there are over 10 million adult adoptees; I think we are a pretty big community. Also, there is a need for creating more awareness. We all know that adoption isn’t going anywhere, so as the first and only national/global multicultural adoptee led foundation (all of our board members are adopted whom are representative of the international, domestic, and foster adoption experience) – we believe from our own personal experiences of being adopted – it is critical that we as the adoptee community help streamline more post adoption resources for adoptees and their families.

Can you tell me more about Mixed Roots Foundation?
Again, the Mixed Roots Foundation is the first and only organization doing what we are doing. What really sets us apart from any other nonprofit organization or even foundation – is that we are focusing on post adoption resources as well as really serving as the global philanthropic arm of adoption as well as being creative and leveraging all the resources that are available including the resources in the arts & entertainment, business, technology and health and science communities. We really are trying to address the changing needs of adoptees and their families throughout the whole life cycle of the adoptee – from birth to death. We also hope that this will provide a space / platform that individuals and their families can call home by giving back to the community and getting their voices heard both on a national and global level.

We hear George Lucas is a supporter. What was his involvement?
Yes, It was amazing to hear that George Lucas had accepted our invitation to participate in our public service announcement (PSA) that will broadcast at Adoptee Night on July 24th. We interviewed him because he is an adoptive parent of three children – two girls and one boy. We hope that we can get George and his kids more involved with the Foundation as he has shared a very positive experience with his adoption and wants to do anything he can do to help others.

How can people get involved with Adoptee night?
Buy Tickets and Represent! Again, due to this being our first year – it is critical that we show the Giants that we are a community and that we have the numbers to prove it. Also, we are looking for volunteers to help hand out materials both around the stadium as well as the pregame and in the stadium as well. All materials need to focus on post adoption resources whether that is mentoring or providing activities for adoptees and their families after they adopt.

What’s next for Adoptee Night and Mixed Roots Foundation?
There are actually a couple of other organizations that have started a similar Adoptee Night event in Texas and possibly in Missouri, Minnesota and New York! That is exactly what we would like to happen. The main goal is to raise awareness about the adoption experience and how we can further support adoptees and their families.  If we can create Adoptee Night to go viral at every sports team game – that will be a true success!

As for the Mixed Roots Foundation, due to being only a year old – we really are operating on a grass roots level, so our plea is to garner as many donations as possible, so we can meet our financial goals to continue the awareness events as well as create national and global models of post adoption resources that can be replicated to positively directly impact local adoption communities everywhere.

In the Fall, we will be re-launching our charter Adoptee Mentor Program (AMP) where we match caring and positive adult adoptee mentors with children who are also adopted. We will also be officially launching the first ever Global Adoptee Genealogy Project (GAGP) where we are helping adoptees and their families discover the biological and cultural roots through DNA testing.

For those who would like to support our work, you can feel free to direct them to our website – http://www.mixedrootsfoundation.org or our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/mixedrootsfoundation.

On June 16th almost 200 people gathered to celebrate the joy that is adoption. Families that we created through the love of openness bonded over delicious hot dogs and tons of fabulous picnic food. Sixty adoptees ranging from 2 months old to 14 years old partook of face painting, Barney dancing, a bounce house and the famous toy raffle. There were families from every part of the adopting process, including a record 13 waiting families! We were even lucky enough to be joined by 12 different families who have adopted through the IAC more than once. Most exciting was the amount of birthfamilies that were there laughing and playing with the whole group. The IAC is so proud of their continued support of open adoption and the six birthfamilies that were represented truly shine the brightest light on our best intentions. Thank you to everyone who joined us and we hope to see all of you again next year. We’ll bring the hotdogs!

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Letter from the Editor: In celebration of the new year, this issue of Open Adoption offers stories of both reflection and hope. On page one, you will find a collage of IAC’s newest families, followed by exciting announcements on page two, including the Holiday Card Contest Winner. We also reveal the look of our new and improved website set to take affect in late January. For a closer look, visit adoptionhelp.org.

On page three an adoptive mother reflects on the first six months of parenthood. What begins as an unsettling hospital experience, evolves into an inspirational story of lasting bonds and life lessons.

Our feature article, on page five, is an informal discussion between an adoptive mother and father on transracial adoption. They speak from personal experience rather than expertise, and the honesty and sensitivity of their conversation is refreshing.

On page eight, we feature a class assignment by six-year-old Sophia, who wrote a beautiful depiction of her family. On page nine, get to know Ashley Garrison, the Open Adoption Counselor in Atlanta, Georgia.

On page ten, hear from resident expert Kathleen Silber as she explains how to address adoption at different ages. As always, the final pages contain up-to-date birthparent statistics and upcoming support group dates. Enjoy!

– Ann Wrixon, MSW, MBA, Executive Director

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Letter From the Editor: The articles in this issue of Open Adoption are warm and inspiring, helping us welcome another holiday season. We celebrate IAC’s newest families on page one and announce holiday party dates and new staff on page two. The holiday season at IAC also includes our annual holiday break and Adoption Awareness Month and that is detailed on page two and 16 respectively.

On page three an adoptive mother writes a letter to her son, Jared, recounting the events that formed their family. On page four, we introduce Gia, and the series of events that brought her adoptive mothers and her birthmother together. Both stories reveal tiny details that lead to miraculous outcomes, and how fate plays a role in open adoption.

Our feature article is a birth story told from three perspectives. It’s not often that all sides of a story are told, but on page seven, the birth of Chloe Star is recounted by her adoptive mother, her birthmother, and her birthfather. Respect, admiration, and friendship are common themes in all three stories, proving the strength of their open relationship and the immense amount of love that brought Chloe into the world.

In our Staff Profile, you will meet Lauren Favorite, our Adoptive Parent Intake Coordinator in Atlanta, Georgia. Aside from welcoming perspective adoptive parents to the IAC, she has quite a few interesting hobbies. Learn about these hobbies and more on page 13.

On page 14, hear from resident expert Kathleen Silber as she addresses a unique situation your child may encounter in school. As always, the final pages contain up-to-date birthparent statistics and upcoming support group dates. Happy Holidays!

~ Ann Wrixon, MSW, MBA, Executive Director

IAC has also recently published detailed wait time statistics for 2006 through May 2011. This is discussed on page two. On page 10, we reveal a selection of comments pulled from our Facebook page that answer the question: “What is the significance of your child’s name? And/Or how did you decide upon a name for your child?” The answers from both adoptive parents and birthparents are touching and inspiring.

On page three, get to know Lyn Dawn, Manager of Agency Services. Learn about her love of animals, her feelings about family and what it’s like to be the IAC Halloween Decorating Champion 10 years in a row.

Turn to page four to read an endearing story of how Erin Garcia-Norris and her wife bonded with their son’s birthmother without being able to speak her native language. On page six is our feature article, by Jamie Clark, who has two daughters, both adopted through the IAC. She tells of her search to find her older daughter’s birthmother and how Facebook and other social media play an important role in their ongoing relationship.

On page nine, hear from resident expert Kathleen Silber as she offers great insight into how to teach your adopted child the significance of birth siblings. As always, the final pages contain up-to-date birthparent statistics and upcoming support group dates. DOWNLOAD & enjoy!

~ Ann Wrixon, Executive Director ~