Author Archives: Kathleen Silber

In Memory of Ellen Roseman

We are sad to announce that Ellen Roseman passed away on April 20, 2013 after a long battle with liver cancer. Ellen was an adoptive mother and adoption facilitator in Northern California. She was a dedicated advocate for open adoption for 30 years. She helped educate the world about open adoption (I fondly remember doing […]

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Facilitating the open adoption transition

Last week, Southern California Public Radio’s Take Two show ran a piece that posed the question, “Does California’s ‘open adoption’ system help heal a baby’s separation wound?” The story featured an IAC adoptive family, and mentioned some challenges they face in raising their son. The article then attempts to link these challenges with the open […]

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In Support of Open Records for Adult Adoptees & Open Adoption

The Independent Adoption Center (IAC), the largest open adoption agency in the US, strongly supports open records for adult adoptees. The IAC believes that every person should be able to access his or her original birth certificate and family records. The IAC advocates changing the state laws, where needed, so that all adopted individuals have […]

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Extended Birth Family Matters

Question: We are hoping to not only build a wonderful relationship with our birthparents but also extended members of the birth family. What are some ideas adoptive parents have used to include the extended family into their lives? Answer: It’s great that you want to include other members of the birth family in your life. […]

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Why Open Adoption Agreements?

Imagine that, in their excitement before the birth of the baby, adoptive parents tell the birthmother “Get in touch anytime.” They are thinking about receiving a few emails while she interprets “anytime” to mean monthly visits. These very different ideas about open adoption can cause anger and disappointment on both sides. It is scenarios like […]

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Helping Your Extended Family Understand Open Adoption

Adopting parents frequently tell us that their extended family members are negative or anxious about the idea of an open adoption. How do you help them get on board? It’s important to remember that your parents are from a different generation where closed adoption and secrecy were the norm. In the past birthmothers were typically […]

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Discussing Adoption with School Age Children

A child’s understanding of adoption increases during the school age years. Assuming that parents introduced the subject of adoption and talked openly about it (in a simple manner) during the pre-school years, now they can focus on the circumstances of why the birthparents made an adoption plan. As in the pre-school years, they should use […]

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Discussing Adoption with Pre-School Age Children

Pre-school age children do not yet have the capacity to understand adoption. However, there are several very important reasons for introducing the subject at this age: From the beginning, adoption should be a household word and subject that is discussed comfortably in the home. Talking openly about adoption aids in the adoptive parents’ comfort level […]

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Birthmother’s Day: May 8th, 2010

Birthmother’s Day is a celebration of the special role of birthmothers and the loving and unselfish decision they made on behalf of their children. Mother’s Day is painful for many birthmothers because it is a reminder of the loss they experienced in adoption. She is a birthmother but not a mom—the adoptive mother is the […]

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