Independent Adoption Center » Sarah Bryson

Birthmother’s Day Tips for Adoptive Parents

Sarah Bryson — Fri, 06 May 2011 00:24:49 +0000

This Saturday May 7th is Birthmother’s Day. We often get the question from our adoptive families – “What should I do for my child’s birthmother on Birthmother’s Day?” I would say do as much or as little as you like. Just like for Mother’s Day, gifts can range from a phone call to an all expenses paid vacation to Hawaii.

Even if your child’s birthmother doesn’t want a relationship right now, it doesn’t hurt to send her a card or a gift that shows her that you are thinking about her. It’s important for her to know that you’re there if she ever wants to open up the lines of communication, afterall this is what open adoption is all about. Make sure it’s clear on the packaging that it is from you and she can choose whether she wants to open it.

If you know your child’s birthmother well or if you have an inkling that she might enjoy some of the following items, why not send something over? Here
are some ideas:

A Card or e-Card
A Letter and some photos
Gift Certificates (spas, restaurants, movies, coffee shops, clothing stores)
Flowers and candy
Jewelry
Photo album or Scrapbook
Your Child’s Artwork
Invitation to Visit
Bath Kits and/or Lotions

And, if you need advice, it would be a good idea to ask the birthgrandma or grandpa if you know them. Or, you can always call your IAC counselor. I wish you all a memorable and happy Mother’s Day and Birthmother’s day!

Read More about Birthparent and Adoptive Parent Relationships in Open Adoption:
IAC Executive Director Ann Wrixon’s Personal Open Adoption Story
Why Open Adoption Agreement?
Open Adoption Magazine
Adoption Diaries

‘Coming out of the Closet’ with Domestic Infant Adoption

Sarah Bryson — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 00:04:59 +0000

Ann Wrixon, the Executive Director of the Independent Adoption Center reports on Gay and Lesbian adoption in the United States today. David Perry of Comcast’s “Ten Percent”* questions Wrixon on state legislation surrounding LGBT adoption and what role the IAC is playing to advocate for same-sex couples who want to adopt.

Having placed about 1000 infants with LGBT families over the course of 29 years, the Independent Adoption Center has been involved in numerous studies and has a lot of information to offer on this topic. Wrixon urges all same-sex families hoping to adopt that even if they aren’t going to adopt through the IAC, they can feel welcome to call and have their questions answered.

*Ten Percent, a weekly interview series that focuses on lesbian, bisexual, gay and transgender (LGBT) issues, is a half-hour show created and hosted by long-time San Francisco media professional David Perry.

For more reading on LGBT adoption and same sex parenting read the following posts:

IAC Family Featured on ‘Celebrity Baby Scoop’

Sarah Bryson — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 00:36:39 +0000

IAC alumni Bill Horn and Scout Masterson finalized their adoption last month in the good company of celebrity friends Tori Spelling and her husband Dean McDermott. Congratulations Bill and Scout!

The IAC family, known as the ‘Guncles’ on the hit reality series Home Sweet Hollywood, say they always knew that they wanted to build their family through adoption and chose the Independent Adoption Center because of our experience working with LGBT families.

Bill and Scout express how ‘lucky’ they feel and how the relationship they have with their daughter Simone’s birthmother is ‘really special and wonderful.’ Their gratitude and love for Simone’s birthmother and her godparents, Tori and Dean, shines through in this endearing open adoption success story. Get the Celebrity Baby Scoop.

For more information on LGBT adoption and the IAC read the following blog posts:
IAC Recognized by Human Rights Campaign for Best Practices with LGBT Families
Wait Times for Adoptive Placements in LGBT Families
Gay and Lesbian Parents Raise Well-Adjusted Children: IAC Families Participate in Groundbreaking Study

If you are considering placing your baby for adoption visit the following blog to learn more:
I Heart Adoption Blog for Women Considering Adoption

Adopting a Baby with the IAC

Sarah Bryson — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:55:56 +0000

Recently, Barbara Rogers of Comcast NewsMakers interviewed the Independent Adoption Center’s Executive Director Ann Wrixon to find out more about open adoption with the IAC. Wrixon explains that some of the myths surrounding adoption are “simply not true”. She reports that there are infants out there to adopt. And, while some adoptive parents may have fears about open adoption, the fears are unwarranted as numerous studies continue to prove that open adoption is the healthiest type of adoption for adoptees, adoptive parents and birthparents. She goes on to say that the myths about who can and can’t adopt are also fallacious — the IAC, in it’s nearly 3 decades of placing infants in loving homes, has never had exclusionary policies for adoptive parents based on age, gender, ethnicity/race, sexual orientation or marital status. Just recently, in September 2010, the IAC was recognized by the Human Rights Campaign for best practices with LGBT families. For more reading on gay/lesbian parenting read our blog post about a recent study conducted that included IAC clients.

Mostly, Ann hopes to communicate to families who want to adopt a newborn that they can do it! We hope you enjoy the video.

Open Adoption Magazine: The Heart of IAC

Sarah Bryson — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 17:51:20 +0000

Get ready for the new issue of Open Adoption! This fall, you will laugh, cry and get all warm and fuzzy inside as you watch three IAC families pursue their dreams through open adoption.

Next, Open Adoption stems from love, grows with love and thrives with love. At the root of this beautiful tree are the strong and selfless women who place their children for adoption. It is because birthparents are at the heart of adoption, that we wanted to create something for them. So, IAC announces our private social networking website just for birthparents. Be on the look out for updates from IAC’s iheartadoption blog.

Also learn about one of the IAC’s very own, Caitlin Mueller, who is not only working to transform lives here at the IAC, but will be joining in the fight against HIV and AIDs by biking 545 miles up the California coast. If you would like to support Caitlin, visit: www.tofighthiv.org/goto/caitlin

Last, but surely not least, read along as our experts discuss two very pertinent issues in open adoption. IAC’s Associate Executive Director and Clinical Director, Kathleen Silber, MSW, LCSW recommends welcoming openness into a closed or semi-open adoption and how to go about it. Lawrence Siegel, JD talks about the role of birthfathers in the adoption process and how to track down a birthfather in California who is MIA to discuss with him his options.

TELL US MORE!! What was your favorite article? And, why? What do you want to read about in future issues? Any other comments, suggestions, questions?

Adoption Grants Available!

Sarah Bryson — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 18:37:37 +0000

Helpusadopt.org offers grants of $500 to $15,000 for families expanding their families through adoption. The deadline for the next cycle of grants is OCTOBER 15, 2010. They are specifically interested in LGBT applicants. Be sure to take advantage of this offer today. See details about the program below:

Helpusadopt.org was created by adoptive parents Becky and Kipp Fawcett in 2007. The Fawcetts were so grateful for the fact that they had the financial means to adopt their son Jake in 2005 that they looked to make a donation to an existing organization that would help ease another family’s financial burden. However, what they found were organizations that defined family and adoption. Armed with this knowledge and their belief in family undefined, they decided to create a grant organization that does not define family or adoption — Helpusadopt.org was born.

Helpusadopt.org is a national 501c3 financial grant program that helps couples/individuals (regardless of race, religion, gender, marital status and sexual orientation) with the costs of their adoptions (domestic, international, special needs or foster care) by awarding grants of up to $15,000.

Although Helpusadopt.org has received very few same sex couple applicants in the two years that they have been awarding grants (they actively seek more), in December of 2009 they awarded their first same sex couple grant to Caroline and Elizabeth from North Carolina. In their own words this is what they have to say about Helpusadopt.org:

“When my partner and I began looking at adoption grants, we didn’t think we’d ever get one. Many grant organizations openly favored heterosexual, married, Christian couples. Then I found Helpusadopt.org and I was encouraged to see that FINALLY, same-sex families were welcome to apply and that the average grant size was substantial ($7,500). Helpusadopt.org understands the challenges same-sex couples face when adopting and we are truly grateful that they exist to help families like ours! When so many other doors were closed to us, Helpusadopt.org’s door was open.”

Helpusadopt.org awards $50,000 in grant money twice a year (June and December) and as we approach the deadline for our December 2010 round of grants (October 15th) we are frustrated to see that we do not have a single application from the LGBT community.

“We have the funds to award to LGBT couples seeking to adopt, but without the applications obviously we can’t award the grants.” States Becky Fawcett, executive director of Helpusadopt.org, “The non-discrimination factor is one of the main premises on which we created and built Helpusadopt.org and I can’t for the life of me figure out why more LGBT couples aren’t applying, but I won’t stop trying until we are awarding LGBT grants on a regular basis.” continues Fawcett.

Fawcett, has retired from her PR firm, The Fawcett Group PR, to run Helpusadopt.org on a full time basis and pro-bono. “It’s really quite simple… this is what I was born to do. But I’ll never take a penny from Helpusadopt.org—how could I? I am so grateful that I was able to adopt on my terms and it’s important to me to be able to turn around and help others achieve their dreams of parenthood.”

Spend a few minutes with Becky Fawcett and you’ll see that she’s not only authentic; she’s determined to make a difference in the world of adoption, especially to families who have faced closed doors due to discrimination. She’s even walked away from donors who’ve asked her to adjust Helpusadopt.org’s definition of family.

Helpusadopt.org’s doors are wide open to the LGBT community… they’re just waiting for the applications!

For more information visit: www.helpusadopt.org for our grant application and the guidelines. Or call 917.684.5484 or email becky.fawcett -at- helpusadopt -dot- org

Adoption Nexus Conference

Sarah Bryson — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 17:19:45 +0000

The IAC is pleased to promote the Adoption Nexus Conference in Los Angeles California on October 2, 2010. Below, Jennifer Munro, the visionary who started the conference, describes her connection with adoption and her passion for informing other adoptive parents about the options they have in adoption. For conference details visit: http://southwestadoption.org/. You will receive discounted registration by entering the pin “iac10” or referring to IAC when you call.

“Hi I’m Jennifer. Six years ago my husband and I entered fertility treatment at the same time we attended a local adoption conference because we wanted to know what all our choices of starting a family looked like. We were blown away. At the conference we met people who were so passionate about adoption, and heard the good stories – not the ones on the news. The boring stories of soccer and little league and eating peas and going on vacation – not the movie of the week stories of drama. It was then that we knew adoption was ok for us and if and when we decided to adopt we could and would. We still entered five years of unsuccessful fertility treatment and spent over $100,000 doing it. But, we wouldn’t have changed that for the world because without the failed fertility treatments, we would have never adopted our daughter – she was meant for us and we were meant for her. And I can’t imagine having missed out on having her in our lives.

Now our lives are filled with the boring day to day of music classes and play dates and not eating peas. For the first six months of my daughter’s life I woke up in tears with such love and joy for her I couldn’t keep it in and yet I was haunted that there were others out there that might miss out on such an amazing life because they weren’t really informed about what adoption was, so I created the Southwest Adoption Nexus. If you decide to come to the conference you are going to hear the stories from an Adult Adoptee, a birthmother, a women who adopted two children as a single woman who adopted. You will meet both international and domestic adoption professionals. You will meet mental health professionals that can help guide you through the decision making process. And, you can network with other adoptive parents and soon to adopt parents. You can meet people that will become life long partners in your journey to parenthood and beyond. This is a photo of three little girls – one is mine and the two belong to two other women I met at the adoption conference. I wish I could reach out to everyone who is even considering adoption to come and get informed.”

Breaking News: California’s Gay Marriage Ban Overturned!

Sarah Bryson — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 23:46:51 +0000

The gay marriage ban in California was overturned today by Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker, who ruled that the ban is “unconstitutional”. The case was brought to court by two gay couples who filed a lawsuit, saying that Prop 8 was a violation of their civil rights. Judge Walker agreed, stating that the ruling “vindicates the rights of a minority of our citizens to be treated with decency and respect and equality in our system.” Prop 8 was passed by popular-vote in November 2008 to utter shock of many other Californians who believed their rights to be protected and just five months after Supreme Court legalized gay marriage. Supporters of the ban claimed that it “was necessary to safeguard the traditional understanding of marriage and to encourage responsible childbearing.” The religious and conservative groups that sponsored Prop 8 (the most expensive political campaign on a social issue in the history of the United States) claimed that around the world there is a “common sense belief that children do best when they are raised by their own mother and father.” However, Walker ruled that the California law was a violation of specific clauses of the Constitution and that there was no sufficient rational basis for separating out same-sex couples by denying them a marriage license. Although the ruling was in favor of LGBT marriage, gay and lesbian marriage in California will not be allowed right away as the Judge is deciding whether to wait until the supporters of the ban bring their appeal to the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

What Makes a Successful Adoptive Parent Profile?

Sarah Bryson — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 00:48:37 +0000

Adoptive parent profiles are written and visual autobiographies that families who are waiting to adopt create in order to introduce themselves to a pregnant woman considering placing her child for adoption.

In a recent interview Guylaine Hubbard-Brosmer, MSW (the IAC’s Co-Branch Director in LA) and another adoption professional (Vicky) discuss: “How to Prepare an Adoptive Parent Profile for Domestic Adoption”. The interview sheds light on some tips and tricks adoption agencies use to guide their families on the road to success in domestic open adoption by helping them put together an effective adoptive parent profile. The interview was conducted by Dawn Davenport who hosts a radio talk show sponsored by Creating a Family, a nonprofit organization that provides education and resources for infertility and adoption. You can listen to the interview here.

Topics that are touched upon in the interview include the types of profiles an adoptive family can create, what expecting mothers considering adoption are looking for in an adoptive family, how to make your profile stand out, things to do and things to avoid when creating your profile and much more.

Among the many interesting points Guylaine and Vicky make, the best piece of knowledge that adopting families can take away from this interview is that the most important thing you can do when creating your adoptive parent profile is to BE GENUINE and BE YOU! You will hear it over and over again, that no expecting woman considering adoption is alike and she will have her own reasons for choosing a family to raise her child. So, try to relax, be yourself & have fun creating and updating your profile.

Please share this information! To birthparents: “What made you choose the family you chose? How did you find them?” To adoptive families, “Why did your child’s birthmother say she chose you?”

Happy Birthmother’s Day!

Sarah Bryson — Sat, 08 May 2010 08:01:18 +0000

There is no better time than today to honor, support and respect birthmothers everywhere for the difficult, brave and selfless decisions they have made in choosing adoption. It’s because of the sacrifices they make everyday that others’ dreams are realized.

Birthmother’s Day is about taking the time to acknowledge the person who made your dream of becoming a family a reality. It is so important to take time out of our busy schedules to do something special and creative to express your gratitude.

So what are people doing to show birthmothers they care on this very special day? There are many birthmothers who don’t even know about Birthmother’s Day. So, a nice thing to do today would even be just calling them and wishing them well. Even the simplest of gestures goes a long way. How about making a collage, buying flowers, even sending a cute animated e-card and some pictures? What about a thoughtful letter or poem? Even if you can’t contact your child’s birthmom you can still honor her by telling your child the story of his/her adoption again, or for the first time, and answering any questions you can about their birthfamily.