Editor’s note: The following is a guest post by one of IAC’s waiting adoptive mothers, Shannon Guindin.
…it’s a way of life.
Waiting is hard. Waiting for something you have no idea the time frame on is even harder. We have been in circulation with IAC for almost eight weeks. I know, not a long time, in fact we’re very much novices in the elusive waiting game. But, time becomes irrelevant when you’re waiting for something you so badly want. Whether it’s eight weeks, six months, or over a year – it’s all waiting for something you have no control over.
Like most new families, we had visions of being picked right when our profile went live. And while that does happen, statistically speaking, it’s not the norm. You’ve just worked so diligently on your paperwork, home study, and most importantly, adoption letter, that after it’s completed and you’re in circulation, life suddenly gets quiet. Waiting for adoption is very quiet.
We’ve asked many IAC community members and others who’ve adopted and they all give the same advice on waiting. Continue on with your life. Try and put the adoption in the back of your mind. Keep busy, focus on yourself or your partner, and don’t get bogged down in the waiting. Great advice, but it’s not that easy. Everyday I wake up wondering if we’ll get the call (or email) that will change our life. I pick up the phone to make sure it’s still working, test our email, and check our Google analytics. Everyday, I update our social media and wonder if any of them will lead to a possible connection. To be honest, I am very hopeful about our future child, but right now that hope still exists on a dream level.
There’s still so much I don’t know about the adoption process. But two things I know wholeheartedly: waiting is going to be harder than I initially thought and it’s going to require enormous patience. I’ll admit, I love to have control over situations, and it’s almost ironic how little control I have over this. I think I might just see a life lesson in here.
The bottom line is that patience has to become part of our normal routine. It has to be our mantra; it must become our way of life. I have always been a firm believer in fate, that things happen for a reason and when they are supposed to. We have to trust that our baby isn’t ready for us yet. Who knows, as much as my husband and I think we’re ready, maybe there’s something else for us to learn before we can become parents. Letting go of what you can’t control is a choice. Not an easy choice by any means, but a vital one.
So, for today at least, I vow to let go of this waiting. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up on the hope of our baby. Doing this confirms that I believe and trust in this open adoption process. I trust that through IAC we’ll eventually get the family we’ve always dreamed of. So, when you are ready Baby G, we are here waiting, patiently.