Open Adoption Blog

Waiting to Adopt: Selecting Child Care Provider

By | Published 02/08/2012

When your child becomes old enough and you have to go back to work, finding the right child care can be another worry to tackle. Before you start freaking out about finding the perfect situation, we have some tips to help ease your worries! The Baby Center breaks it down into six steps: Identify your priorities, do your research, visit/interview, check references, kid-test it, and get on the waiting list. The link provided offers more detail about what to do for each step.

Child Care Aware is also a great tool to help you find and learn about high-quality child care. There is also a section providing pages for parents to help you become more informed as a child care consumer. The National Association for Child Care is another great resource. They provide a parent section where you can look for accredited child care providers by name, city, county, state, zip code, or area code.

There is also the option of hiring a sitter or nanny. If you want to explore this route check out Sitter City. They even have resources for housekeeping and tutoring!

Don’t fret! There are a wide variety of resources to help you find experienced and trustworthy child care providers. Just starting the search early so that you have time to find the right fit for you and your child!

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Adam Pertman, author of Adoption Nation, Discusses Adoption Trends in 2012

By | Published 02/06/2012

Adam Pertman doesn’t do things in half measures. When I asked him in a recent interview about what open adoption trends he’ll be watching in 2012, he didn’t simply answer my question.

He took me on a fascinating tour of the major adoption milestones of the past two centuries before circling back to the present day. And he did it in five minutes flat, without taking a breath the entire time.

Had his achievements been limited solely to his groundbreaking 2001 book, Adoption Nation, Pertman would have secured himself a place of honor in the Adoption Hall of Fame.

But that was just the beginning of a long career devoted to adoption education and advocacy. As the Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, the leading U.S. think tank on adoption policy, Pertman has become one of the leading voices for adoption reform.

And now, with the recent release of the new, updated and revised edition of Adoption Nation, Pertman is once again bringing adoption — and the need to bring its practices into the 21st century — to a larger audience.

Recently I asked him what he sees as the major adoption trends in 2012. According to Pertman, by far the biggest change in the world of adoption is in the type of adoptions that now take place. Continue reading »

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Waiting to Adopt: Select a Pediatrician

By | Published 02/01/2012

Finding a pediatrician you can trust is important. There are three types of providers to look for: pediatricians, family physicians, and pediatric nurse practitioners. The first step is in deciding which type of provider you would like for your child and then choosing a pediatrician. It’s a good idea to get to ask questions and review their experience. You also want to find the right personality fit. If you really want to know the details you can run a background check on pediatricians for more information such as: where they earned their degree, if they are board certified, if they’ve been disciplined by a state medical board, licensure history, location, and specialty.

Some great resources to also assist you are American Academy of Pediatrics and the Healthy Children website where you can find articles, common health issues among children, information on growth stages, and much more.

Remember to keep in mind what feels right for you. One doctor might be a good fit for someone else’s child but not your own. Weigh your options and get to know the doctors before making a decision. For more tips check out these sites:

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Celebrating Adoption Through Photography

By | Published 01/26/2012


“An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.”-Chinese proverb

From this quote grew the name Red Thread and its connection to adoption. Red Thread Sessions, an organization that provides complimentary photography services to adoptive families, was created in 2011 by two photographers who had gone through the adoption process themselves. Gradually, photographers across the country started to volunteer their services. The photographers involved see it as an opportunity to capture the unique emotions involved in adoption.

To qualify for a Red Thread Session your adoption must be not be more than three months post-finalization. There are three types of sessions: family portrait, homecoming session, birth photography. Visit their website for more information.

Here is a list of Red Thread Session Photographers.

If you decide to take advantage of this wonderful service, please share your photos on IAC’s Facebook Page, or send us the digital files for inclusion on our blog. Don’t’ forget to credit your generous photographer!

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“Bady For Adoption”: Our First Scam

By | Published 01/25/2012

I love IAC support group meetings. They’re a place of cookies, babies and people who know exactly what we’re going through. Recently, a group-goer I’ll call Melanie (because later I will say that she and her husband are funny and good-looking, so clearly I need to protect their identities) shared that she’d gotten a call from a woman claiming to be pregnant. But this woman was about to go camping where no one would be able to reach her for days. And there was some reason she couldn’t call the IAC. Oh, and she was having twins.

A few red flags there, right? But Melanie had confessed excitedly to her husband that she thought this was “the one.” Her adoption counselor gently explained what was going on. Melanie was disappointed, but she felt like the experience was a rite of passage.

Flash forward to the next support group meeting. Melanie and Tim had been contacted by two more scammers. This time they were more cautious, and the group joked about how, soon, they’d be picking up the phone and snapping “Whaddayuhwant?”

By this point, Cecilia’s and my profile had gone live, and I’d been checking the Gmail account we’d linked to it every day. All we had to show for our efforts was one piece of spam. Not an adoption scam—just regular old Viagra spam.

Everyone says that the longer you wait, the more you’ll start wondering, What’s wrong with us? Why are other people adopting before we do? What I didn’t expect was to envy people who’d been contacted by a fake birthmother. Continue reading »

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“Transracial Adoption Talk” Open Adoption Magazine, Winter 2012

By | Published 01/23/2012
Transracial Adoption Talk Open Adoption Magazine

Click image to download

Letter from the Editor: In celebration of the new year, this issue of Open Adoption offers stories of both reflection and hope. On page one, you will find a collage of IAC’s newest families, followed by exciting announcements on page two, including the Holiday Card Contest Winner. We also reveal the look of our new and improved website set to take affect in late January. For a closer look, visit adoptionhelp.org.

On page three an adoptive mother reflects on the first six months of parenthood. What begins as an unsettling hospital experience, evolves into an inspirational story of lasting bonds and life lessons.

Our feature article, on page five, is an informal discussion between an adoptive mother and father on transracial adoption. They speak from personal experience rather than expertise, and the honesty and sensitivity of their conversation is refreshing.

On page eight, we feature a class assignment by six-year-old Sophia, who wrote a beautiful depiction of her family. On page nine, get to know Ashley Garrison, the Open Adoption Counselor in Atlanta, Georgia.

On page ten, hear from resident expert Kathleen Silber as she explains how to address adoption at different ages. As always, the final pages contain up-to-date birthparent statistics and upcoming support group dates. Enjoy!

– Ann Wrixon, MSW, MBA, Executive Director

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Waiting to Adopt: Shop for Baby Furniture

By | Published 01/18/2012

“This one’s too big, this one’s too small, this one fits just right!”

Finding the right baby furniture for your child is very important and finding quality furniture at a decent price can be a hassle. But getting started early will help you sift through all the products and find the best furniture for your child. Before you get started on buying anything read, “How to buy a safe crib” for safety tips and what to look for when buying a crib. Safety and versatility are two of the most important things to look for when buying baby furniture. Most cribs range from $100-$500, but if you’re looking for something fancy, the price can reach $1,000.

Before you start shopping you can also check out Baby’s Dream Furniture where you can:

  • Visualize your child’s nursery using a virtual nursery planner
  • Get a free 36 page nursery guide
  • Pick out wall decals
  • Get ideas from real nurseries
  • And shop when you are ready!

Here are some other places to browse for furniture:
For bargain shoppers:

For the high end traditionalists:

For modernistas:

Happy shopping!

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Waiting to Adopt: Select A Name for Baby

By | Published 01/11/2012

“A Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet.” ~ William Shakespeare

Regardless of what you name your child, you will love he/she unconditionally. But picking out a name is one of the most exciting things to do before your child arrives! It’s a way to create a meaningful connection, whether it be familial, personally sentimental, or inspired by the birth family. Babyhold.com is a great resource to search baby names based on family origin, famous names, unique names, as well as many other categories.

Here are some more sites to get ideas:

BabyZone: They have celebrity baby names, as well as other names you can search with origin and meaning

MomsWhoThink: Provides baby names with tips, and also the top baby names for each decade as far back as 1880!

babycenter: This site lets you search baby names by gender, popularity, syllables, what you want it to start or end with, origin, or by meaning! Very useful!

Make the naming process fun! Think outside the box. If you get frustrated coming to a decision, consult the Name Inventor. It’s sure to make you laugh!

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A Grandmother Embraces Open Adoption

By | Published 12/23/2011

Barbara Potter is eager for another grandchild to love. On December 21, 2011 she wrote an article for the Orange County Register that explains the adoption process her son and his husband are going through to start their family. With instructions not to buy baby supplies or items for the nursery just yet, Barbara and her daughter have instead started to knit a blanket for the baby-to-be. Her story is fill of excitement and endearment; love for this baby is already in the making. View Barbara’s full story, “Some day wrapped in a blanket of love.”

Barbara’s son, Andrew Potter and his husband Michael Virata are seeking an open adoption through the Independent Adoption Center.

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Why did The Guncles Choose Open Adoption?

By | Published 12/22/2011

Hollywood’s Popular Dads Tell their Adoption Story

Parenting.com’s Celebrity Kids Parents Blog featured an in-depth story by celebrity gay dads, Bill Horn and Scout Masterson. They explain why they chose open adoption over surrogacy or closed adoption and how adoption fits into their daily lives. They also describe their hospital experience as gay adoptive dads in a small catholic hospital. Read the full story on the Parenting.com blog.

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