For families seeking to adopt, it can be hard to decide what to focus on when writing a Birthmother Letter. For birth mothers, reading through multiple profiles while considering the options for her and her child’s future can be similarly challenging. Here are a few tips to help adoptive families develop a letter that rises to the top of the stack and connects with birth parents.
One of the best ways to paint a picture that helps a potential birth mother visualize the sort of parent(s) you might be is to provide vivid concrete examples. Instead of simply describing your daily routine, mention how you’ll incorporate your child into the things you do. Are there fond experiences from your childhood that you look forward to sharing with your little one? Perhaps birth mom can relate. Use sensory language to describe what you may see, hear, feel, taste, or see, to make your words come to life and communicate warmly.
2. Show empathy.
Reach out to birth mom directly, especially at the beginning and ending of your letter. While you don’t know exactly what she may be dealing with while considering open adoption, acknowledge that this is a special time in her life and that you want to be there for support if she needs it. Each birth mom’s story is different; so don’t make assumptions. We don’t know that this is the most difficult thing she’s ever done before, and even if it is, she doesn’t need anyone to add pressure by telling her that. Continue reading