Night Out! is an annual event celebrating the work of those involved with OFC. This year’s event takes place on Thursday, April 19 from 6-9pm at the Parc 55 Hotel in downtown San Francisco. Tickets are available for $125 and include cocktails & wine, a sit-down dinner, silent auction, and the comedian, Marga Gomez as MC.

As an LGBT friendly adoption agency that helps create culturally and ethnically diverse families, we do all we can to encourage the continued success OFC’s programs and events. Come join us in celebration of Our Family Coalition and their efforts to make the San Francisco Bay Area a supportive and fabulous community for LGBT parents and their children.

To learn more about Our Family Coalition visit their website or follow them on Facebook.

If my life is a library, I have a whole section for adoption. Every year for my adoption day, my parents gave me a book inscribed with a message of praise and gratitude that I came into their lives. The first book I remember is a pen-and-ink picture book of a monkey at a birthday party with a trombone. And there’s the one my father read aloud to us after dinner that had my name in the first sentence. The small book of poems about nature that made me start writing. A cookbook I’ve used so much that the pages stick together with floury glue. Novels, nonfiction; cardstock, coffee table; banal, beautiful. To date I have 37 books scattered between my home and my mother’s house, each a thank you note for the miracle of adoption in our family.

Another metaphoric shelf in my library houses the books I was reading when I was unexpectedly pregnant and looking for a family for my birthson. The week after I discovered I was pregnant, I bought What to Expect When You’re Expecting, the classic book for mothers-to-be. I no longer have the book—I gave it to a friend after a few years—but I can still see the picture of the pregnant woman on the front, reading and smiling in a nursery rocking chair. I was glad to have a book about pregnancy, but felt ostracized when I couldn’t find any books that dealt with the challenges of placing a baby for adoption. At least not books with positive messages. There was a definite empty space on my shelves for books that could have helped me weather the challenges and emotions of becoming a birthmother.

So what section of the library am I in now? I’m in the waiting room. My partner and I are waiting to adopt  a baby of our own. Although it’s only been eight months, it feels like an eternity when you’re waiting for a baby. It could happen any minute. And it could happen five years from now. As we wait, the books are piling up. Our mahogany hope chest is full of baby books: two copies of Goodnight Moon, books about sea turtles to use in the bath, books about animals and trucks and children and nature and everything we want to teach our children. And books about adoption. Right now we are living in an age when people can talk about the adoption process without shame or stigma. There are books on how to talk to other people about your adoption journey, the specific challenges and joys transracial adoption brings, advice for staying in touch with your children’s birthmother, how to find adoption groups so your kids can have play dates with other adoptees, how to talk to your kids about other kinds of families.

The world has really opened up about adoption in the decades since my adoption and since my birthson’s adoption. I’m fortunate, and my children will be fortunate, to live in a time when adoption is simply one of the many ways of creating a family. In any library, you’ll find books about single parent families, grandparent families, gay families, foster families, stay-at-home parent families, divorced families, blended families… Each of us has an internal library, space for all of the stories of our lives, and more and more we can find ourselves represented on actual shelves.

I want to acknowledge everyone who has an adoption story — adoptees, birthparents, adoptive parents, family and friends. We know about joys and challenges and strength and grief and diversity and acceptance. Adoption is a library full of stories, and each story unfolds differently for each of us. May all of our adoption journeys be books that bring us peace in the present and leave a library of understanding for those who follow.

Sadie & Elizabeth Durant are waiting to adopt a baby with the Independent Adoption Center. To learn more about them, visit their open adoption website.

The article highlights a recent research report released by the Evan B. Donaldson Institute (http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/index.php) finding that California, Texas, New York, and Massachusetts have the largest number of gay and lesbian family adoptions. It is important to note that California, Texas, and New York are also the most populous states, which may explain the larger number of adoptions in these states regardless of the sexual orientation of the adoptive parents. Florida is the fourth most populous state, but does not have a large number of gay or lesbian adoptions because of a 30-year ban on the practice that the courts overturned last year. The Evan B. Donaldson Institute report also found that 60% of the agencies they surveyed accept applications from gay male and lesbian families seeking to adopt.

In 2010 IAC earned HRC’s “All Children – All Families” seal for best practices in LGBT adoption. HRC is the nation’s largest civil rights organization working for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equity. See the ad displayed here:

According to the Family Equality Council, “One in four children in this country is being raised by a single parent. Two million children are being raised in LGBT households. We all recognize there is no single type of family in America anymore. We must not allow anyone to place politics ahead of the best interests of children and exclude millions of potential parents because of who they are or whom they love.” (See: http://www.familyequality.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ECDF)

There is significant research that shows children raised in LGBT families have the same or better outcomes than children raised by heterosexual parents. As a result, large numbers of organizations have policy statements that support LGBT adoption and foster care including, The American Academy of Family Physicians, The American Academy of Pediatrics, The American Psychiatric Association, the National Association of Social Workers, and many others. For a complete list of these organizations and ones that support the Every Child Deserves a Family Bill see the list on the web site of PFLAG: http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=1411

The Independent Adoption Center is one of the child welfare agencies listed on this page supporting the bill. IAC has never had any discriminatory policies regarding adoptive parents including, sexual orientation, gender identity, marital status, religion, race, or ethnic background.

According to a statement issued by Tom Mann, Board Chairman of Equality Arizona, “SB 1188 takes the focus off of what’s in the best interest of the child when adoption decisions should be made on a case-by-case basis, according to what’s in a child’s best interest. Each case is unique. . . The only consideration should be determining what’s in the best interest of the child.

There is considerable research showing children raised by lesbian or gay parents have the same or better outcomes than children raised by heterosexual parents. The IAC does not discriminate against adoptive parents based on sexual orientation, marital status, religion, race, or any other reason.

For more on this topic read these posts:
Gay and Lesbian Parents Raise Well-Adjusted Children: IAC Families Participate in Groundbreaking Study
Son of Lesbian Mothers Speaks Out Against Iowa’s Legislation to Ban Gay Marriage

According to the Huffington Post, “The legislation, which was sponsored by Democratic Sen. David Koehler, would have amended the state’s recently passed civil unions law and allowed religious child welfare agencies to ‘decline an adoption or foster family home application’ to a couple in a civil union if ‘acceptance of that application would constitute a violation of the organization’s sincerely held religious beliefs.’” Read the full article posted on April 13, 2011 to the Huffington Post.

The IAC opposes any law that discriminates against potential adoptive parents for any reason, including sexual orientation, marital status, religion, and race.

For more on this topic read our posts on same sex adoption in Florida:

• LGBT Adoption Legal in Florida
• Florida Appeals Court Confirms Ban on Gay and Lesbian Adoption Unconstitutional
• Arkansas Ban on Same Sex Adoptions Ruled Unconstitutional

According to the opinion written by Associate Justice Robert Brown, the law “directly and substantially burdens the privacy rights” of both opposite- sex and same-sex couples. Judge Brown further wrote, “The choice imposed on cohabiting sexual partners, whether heterosexual or homosexual, is dramatic. They must chose either to lead a life of private, sexual intimacy with a partner without the opportunity to adopt or foster children or forego sexual cohabitation and, thereby, attain eligibility to adopt or foster.” There are no further appeals for this lawsuit. The Arkansas Supreme Court is the final appeal for the state constitutional issues disputed in this case.

IAC applauds this ruling. IAC opposes all laws that discriminate against LGBT families in adoption. The organization also opposes other discriminatory policies in adoption, including discrimination against single parents, and couples who are not married.

For more on this topic read our posts on same sex adoption in Florida:

• LGBT Adoption Legal in Florida
• Florida Appeals Court Confirms Ban on Gay and Lesbian Adoption Unconstitutional

Having placed about 1000 infants with LGBT families over the course of 29 years, the Independent Adoption Center has been involved in numerous studies and has a lot of information to offer on this topic. Wrixon urges all same-sex families hoping to adopt that even if they aren’t going to adopt through the IAC, they can feel welcome to call and have their questions answered.

*Ten Percent, a weekly interview series that focuses on lesbian, bisexual, gay and transgender (LGBT) issues, is a half-hour show created and hosted by long-time San Francisco media professional David Perry.

For more reading on LGBT adoption and same sex parenting read the following posts:

1. LGBT Adoption Legal in Florida
2. Wait Times for Adoptive Placements in LGBT Families
3. Gay and Lesbian Parents Raise Well-Adjusted Children: IAC Families Participate in Groundbreaking Study
4. IAC Recognized by Human Rights Campaign for Best Practices with LGBT Families
5. Son of Lesbian Mothers Speaks Out Against Iowa’s Legislation to Ban Gay Marriage

According to the today’s New York Times, “Attorney General Eric H. Holder, Jr. sent a letter to Congress on Wednesday saying that the Justice Department will now take the position in court that the Defense of Marriage Act should be struck down as a violation of gay couples’ right to equal protection under the law.” See: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/24/us/24marriage.html

The article further explains that this new position will require the Obama Administration to file new briefs in ongoing litigation about the constitutionality of the legislation.

The Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil rights organization, praised the Obama Administration’s new position in a media release posted on its web site today. See: http://www.hrc.org/15338.htm

The Independent Adoption Center supports same-sex marriage as a basic civil right, and because it provides legal protection to biological and adopted children who are part of these families.