Simply “opening” adoption, however, does not guarantee healthy relationships. The report made sure to identify factors that contribute to the long term success of open adoptions. Some important factors being pre-adoption counseling for both expectant and adoptive parents and ongoing, professional support for both parties after the adoption is complete.

The executive summary makes sure to point out, that although adoption has come a long way, many people entering the process — or those unaffected by adoption — still harbor misunderstandings about adoption deeply woven into history and the media. Adoption professionals, the institute concludes, must work hard to provide accurate information on the realities of openness and continue to push down adoption barriers.

The authors of this study are leading open adoption researchers, Deborah H. Sigel, Ph.D. and Susan Livingston Smith, LCSW.

The adoption study is also covered on ABC News.

To download the full report, visit the Adoption Institute website:
“OPENNESS IN ADOPTION: FROM SECRECY AND STIGMA TO KNOWLEDGE AND CONNECTIONS.”

He took me on a fascinating tour of the major adoption milestones of the past two centuries before circling back to the present day. And he did it in five minutes flat, without taking a breath the entire time.

Had his achievements been limited solely to his groundbreaking 2001 book, Adoption Nation, Pertman would have secured himself a place of honor in the Adoption Hall of Fame.

But that was just the beginning of a long career devoted to adoption education and advocacy. As the Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, the leading U.S. think tank on adoption policy, Pertman has become one of the leading voices for adoption reform.

And now, with the recent release of the new, updated and revised edition of Adoption Nation, Pertman is once again bringing adoption — and the need to bring its practices into the 21st century — to a larger audience.

Recently I asked him what he sees as the major adoption trends in 2012. According to Pertman, by far the biggest change in the world of adoption is in the type of adoptions that now take place.

“The adoptions that people historically think of when they think of adoption, infant adoption, is now the smallest minority,” he says.

What’s more, he added, even those adoptions aren’t what they used to be.

“It’s not mostly white infants born to unwed white mothers being raised by married white couples. Parents today are multiracial; they are sometimes gay or lesbian or single; and the kids are biracial or of color.”

And yet, he adds, “all the laws, policies, practices and attitudes about adoption today are still built on the platform of a type of adoption that barely exists.”

For Pertman, perhaps the biggest change we’ve seen in adoption over the past few decades is the shift toward openness. By openness, he doesn’t mean the type of relationship that we traditionally associate with open adoptions, where adoptive parents and birth parents share identifying information and contact through phone calls, emails, letters or visits.

Instead, the way Pertman sees it, openness is more of an attitude and an approach — one marked by honesty, compassion and information. For decades, this kind of openness has been the foundation of open adoption.

And now Pertman says, it’s suddenly finding its way into public adoptions as well.

“Child welfare placements make up by far the most adoptions in the U.S., he says. “But even that’s coming around. It’s more complicated. There are court orders. The kids are removed from their homes rather than placed voluntary. But now there’s an understanding that knowledge, information, and even contact where it’s possible, is a positive thing for the people involved.”

And, he says, openness is also influencing international adoptions as well.

“The trend in international adoption is that the numbers are plummeting. But the kids and adults who were adopted abroad are searching in unprecedented numbers. It’s a positive message for all of us because what we see is that adults are going back to find their birth families to get that information and meet people, if possible.”

Rather than be alarmed by adoptees wanting to know about their origins, we should respect and support their efforts, Pertman says.

“These people aren’t ingrates. They’re successful adopted people. And what they want is the same thing that everyone has as a birthright. They want to know where they came from, who they look like — all the stuff that the rest of us take for granted. And that’s a really big lesson for other realms of adoption. Because that movement toward international search and reunion and openness really started with infant adoptions.”

Pertman sees the movement toward more openness as beneficial not only for children, but for their families as well.

“Those insecurities that made (adoptive parents) not want contact or connections aren’t good for them or their kids. Knowledge is good for you. Honesty is good for you and your kids. One informs the other. One feeds off the other and the trendline in that respect is toward greater openness.”

Lawrence Morton is an adoptive father and co-founder of America Adopts!, an open adoption meeting place that connects expectant parents who are considering adoption with families that are hoping to adopt.  Follow America Adopts! on Twitter and Facebook.

Mostly, Ann hopes to communicate to families who want to adopt a newborn that they can do it! We hope you enjoy the video.

Next, Open Adoption stems from love, grows with love and thrives with love. At the root of this beautiful tree are the strong and selfless women who place their children for adoption. It is because birthparents are at the heart of adoption, that we wanted to create something for them. So, IAC announces our private social networking website just for birthparents. Be on the look out for updates from IAC’s iheartadoption blog.

Also learn about one of the IAC’s very own, Caitlin Mueller, who is not only working to transform lives here at the IAC, but will be joining in the fight against HIV and AIDs by biking 545 miles up the California coast. If you would like to support Caitlin, visit: www.tofighthiv.org/goto/caitlin

Last, but surely not least, read along as our experts discuss two very pertinent issues in open adoption. IAC’s Associate Executive Director and Clinical Director, Kathleen Silber, MSW, LCSW recommends welcoming openness into a closed or semi-open adoption and how to go about it. Lawrence Siegel, JD talks about the role of birthfathers in the adoption process and how to track down a birthfather in California who is MIA to discuss with him his options.

TELL US MORE!! What was your favorite article? And, why? What do you want to read about in future issues? Any other comments, suggestions, questions?

It’s important to remember that your parents are from a different generation where closed adoption and secrecy were the norm. In the past birthmothers were typically viewed negatively for being pregnant out of wedlock and for “giving away” or “abandoning” their children.

Your parents may also view the birthmother as a threat—someone who could change her mind and take away your baby, leaving you in pain. So some of their worries stem from their desire to protect you.

In reality a birthmother is much less likely to change her mind and reclaim a child if she has the peace of mind that is inherent in open adoption. In open adoption, birthparents select the adoptive parents and have an ongoing relationship with them. Birthparents know first hand that their child will have a good life.

To move past their stereotypes and fears, your parents will have to learn more about open adoption. It’s an evolutionary journey—for adoptive parents and their families. Think about what convinced you that open adoption was right for you. Was there a particular book that helped dispel any myths you had? If so, lend it to your families. Share photographs, letters and information so the birthmother becomes a real person to them. Even better would be for family members to meet her in person.

As family members learn more about open adoption, they will realize that the birthmother is not a threat. Fears and stereotypes are replaced by a loving reality.

Take a moment to look at this minute and half promotion for the movie on YouTube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vRGaZ_4ffs

After you finish watching this segment, go buy the entire 72-minute film at http://www.jeanstrauss.com. Produced by independent filmmaker and adoptee, Jean Strauss, the DVD is only $19.95 plus shipping. IAC rarely recommends films, but we do recommend this one.

“You will,” I assure her, but again events intervene. Three months will pass before we finally meet in person. During that time, I struggle with what this means for me, for my husband, for our daughter, and for her birthmother. I am relieved that the answers to my daughter’s questions are so close, but I am afraid she might be disappointed or hurt. Surprisingly, the one thing I do not feel is threatened. I am not worried that my place in my daughter’s heart will be gone. I know that is not possible. I also know that her heart has always had a place for her birthmother, and that until this point it has been achingly empty.

Finally, the day arrives when the three of us are to meet. My daughter is nervous, so nervous. We arrive early, and then spend fifteen agonizing minutes waiting for her birthmother to arrive. She steps out of the car and approaches my daughter offering her hand to shake. I can tell she is trying to be careful not to intrude on anyone’s boundaries—mine or her birth daughter’s. My daughter takes her hand and looks into her eyes, and for the first time in her life, my daughter sees her face reflected back at her.

Her birthmother tells her she loves her and always has. She tells her about her birthfather, and then she tells my daughter why she placed her for adoption. I can see my daughter visibly lighten, later she will tell me, “It all makes sense now. She made the right decision. I understand she placed me for adoption because she loved me.” I smile.

Perhaps the most startling news, however, is the revelation that my daughter is not Persian at all. Her birthmother confused explains to my daughter her true racial and ethnic identity. My daughter shakes her head, “Okay. I guess most people don’t get to change their entire race and ethnic background when they are twelve,” but I can tell she is relieved to know the truth. CONTINUE TO PART 4.

I could barely catch my breath watching the clock, willing time to go faster so I could rush to the address where I was certain I would find her. Of course, all sorts of things intervened to delay my progress the next day. I dropped my daughter off at a birthday party reminding her I would pick her up in a few hours for her piano recital. Finally, I was free to pursue my hunch driving swiftly to the house I believed would finally end my search.

I breathed deeply and knocked. She opened the door, and I knew immediately I had finally found her. She was beautiful, perhaps one of the most beautiful people I had ever met in person. She looked at me quizzically, “Yes?”
“Do you have a daughter?” I tentatively asked.
“Yes, a long time ago.”
“Who you placed for adoption?”
She stepped out of the house and closed the door behind her. “I know who you are. I have been looking for you too.”
I start to weep. “Do you want to see pictures of your daughter?” She smiled and nodded. We talk. I am not sure what I said or even how she responded. I cannot stop crying and telling her how happy I am to have finally found her. I know she is kind to me. We exchange email and phone numbers, and agree to meet again with the daughter we share. CONTINUE TO PART 3.

Part 1: Fears & Myths of Openness
IAC counselor, Dr. Jennifer Bliss, talks in this radio interview about open
adoption. One of the radio hosts reveals he is adopted and was found by his
birthmother when he was 25 years old, and is now in touch with his extended
birth family including his birth nephews. Dr. Jennifer Bliss, addresses some
of the common myths and fears about open adoption. She also talks about some
of the differences between domestic and international adoption.

Part 2: Defining a Birthparent’s Role
The radio interview with IAC counselor, Dr. Jennifer Bliss, continues. Dr.
Bliss answers a caller’s concerns about a birth parent wanting the child
back after a few months or a few years. Dr. Bliss explains how seeing the
child happy and healthy in the adoptive home reassures birthparents that
they made the right decision. It does not make them want to take the child
back. She also explains the role of adoptive and birth parent in the child’s
life.

Part 3: Effects of an Open Relationship
This is the final installment of the radio interview with IAC counselor, Dr.
Jennifer Bliss. Dr. Bliss listens to the concerns of a caller who is an
adoptive mother. The caller is very concerned about the contact her now
teen-aged daughter is having with her birthmother. Dr. Bliss talks about
appropriate boundaries, and tries to offer the adoptive mother some new ways
to think about her situation. She also talks with the radio host about the
legacy of open adoption. How important it is for adoptees to be reassured by
their birthparents that they were wanted. They were not given away or given
up, rather they were placed for adoption out of great love.

Please Listen. We’d love to hear your comments!