How do I help my adult son find his birth mother? I have some information that will help. I heard about your program on the Leeza Gibbons radio program.
First, you are doing a really wonderful thing for your son. Every adopted child no matter how happy and well adjusted they are in their adoptive home wonders about their birthparents. Sometimes they just want to know who they look like, but often they want and need important medical information.
The IAC only does open adoptions in which birth and adoptive parents exchange fully identifying information so this sort of search is not our specialty. However, I can give you some tips to begin the search.
The first thing you should do is gather all the information you have on your son's adoption, including any identifying information. Give this all to your son so he can look through it and see if there are any clues in the
paperwork that would help him to identify his birthmother. Often there is enough information here that with the help of search engines on the Internet you will be able to locate her.
Before your son contacts her directly or if he needs additional help in locating her, he may want to talk to someone who has experience in both search and reunions. The person we recommend you talk to is Patricia Dorner, MA, LPC, LMFT. Not only is she a trained therapist, but she is also an experienced searcher and adoptive parent. You can find her information at: www.dorneradoptiontraining.com