Editor’s Note: The following is a guest post by waiting adoptive parent, Krista McIlmoil, about what she’s learned from her own mother and what she hopes to pass on to her future child.
Sometimes I call our own toll free number just to make sure it’s working, even though our online call log says that no calls have come through. I try to think of fun and creative ways to get page views, because I figure those page views will result in a phone call and then of course, a baby. I sat down to write about my mother and what she means to me, since it was Mother’s day, but my mind keeps circling back to wondering when it’ll be my turn. I know that’s selfish, but there are so many aspects of motherhood I’m looking forward to, like celebrating that special day once a year when it’s all about moms. When moms all over hope for a quiet day and reflection.
I have enough days of silence and reflection. I long for the days of noise and chaos when I’m running around putting lunches together, helping with homework, and driving the kids around to dance, soccer practice, or Jiu Jitsu. That might sound crazy to some people, and I’m sure that others will tell me that I think that now, but “just wait.” Well, I am. Anxiously. Not as patiently as I could, or should. I think back to my childhood and all the incredible memories my parents helped me create and I can’t wait to pass those traditions down to my children.
My family wasn’t religious, so we didn’t celebrate the same as other families. We didn’t go to church on Christmas Eve, but we would pile into the car and drive around in our pajamas and look at the Christmas lights people put up around their homes. We knew of all the best neighborhoods and we would “oooh” and “ahhh” as we gazed at the lights with child-like wonder on our faces. My brother and I would get up early the next morning and wait patiently for our parents to get up so we could open presents as a family. As we got older and the mystery of Santa Claus was revealed, my brother and I would save some of our allowances to put together presents for our parents, so they could unwrap gifts too.
My mom would always think of fun and creative ways to express her love for all of us kids. We would get special little cards and place-mats for Valentine’s day, well hidden baskets of our favorite goodies on Easter and my personal everyday favorite, a note in our lunches. I used to look forward to lunchtime at school when I could open my paper bag and see what my mom had written on that day’s note. Usually it was a little note saying that she loved me, or to have a fun day, but no matter how little words she used, they always meant so much. Sometimes our note would even be paired with a heart pressed into the bread of our sandwiches.
Little things like that are what I’m most looking forward to passing on; the sweet ways my mom would show us she cared. I know that showing love is more than little gifts and that it can be shown by being supportive, like going to all my soccer games and school functions. My mom was there every time I needed her – even now that I am an adult. I have always known I can count on my parents, and I hope that someday my children will know that they can always count on me.
To learn more about Krista and her husband, Rahsaan, visit their profile at: http://www.iheartadoption.org/users/rahsaanandkristaadopt